Chapter 50: Your so-called goal, for me or for yourself?

Tuesday, May 1th.

Today is the fifth day of school. Matsumae and Rinka Hiiragi have known each other for five days, right?

There are currently 33 girls in Class A. The one who impressed him the most, besides Matsumae and Kuka, is Rinka Hiiragi, who always lowers her head when speaking.

When her mother knew that the school had changed teachers, she called and asked me to take good care of her.

Her mother said that she had communication problems and rarely made friends. Even if she did, they couldn't play with her for long.

Fujii Itsuki asked her mother if there was any reason for this.
Her mother said that she had different hobbies from ordinary girls since she was a child.

She likes to collect candies, especially all kinds of candies.

She has a candy illustrated book that she carefully made, which basically lists all the candy manufacturers in Japan and the types of candies developed by their subsidiaries, whether they are big or small, bankrupt or not.

The book is quite thick and includes her hand-drawn pictures of candies, company logos, etc.

Fujii Itsuki thought this was great and amazing, why couldn't he make friends?
Her mother added that she also liked insects and when she was in primary school she dared to catch the hairy spiders with eight legs and eight eyes with her bare hands, which scared away all her friends at the time.

In the summer she would always catch some insects and put them in a small bottle to observe them, and then release them or give them to her good friends whom she considered to be close.

But her friends were afraid and stayed away from her because of these things.

She especially likes snakes, and now has two little snakes at home.

Every time she went home, she would put it on herself.

As a mother, I have always tried to understand and acknowledge my daughter's hobbies. After years of getting along, I have also accepted the two pet snakes she keeps. But when her classmates finally come to visit our home, she is always scared.

Now that her first year of high school is almost over, my daughter still hasn’t made any good friends. As a mother, I’m really worried.

Her mother was afraid that her daughter's communication problems, which she had since childhood, would become more serious and if they developed into depression, it would be out of control.

So please take good care of Rinka Hiiragi.

Fujii Itsuki felt ashamed after hearing what her mother said. This classmate Hiiragi had a really special hobby.

However, as a teacher and class leader, he also promised to pay close attention to Rinka Hiiragi's situation and try to arrange her with friendly classmates in school group activities in order to enhance their relationship.

Finally, her mother mentioned that Rinka Hiiragi had joined a music club when she was in junior high school, but later she inexplicably dropped out of the club, and she, as a mother, was not quite sure why.

Fujii Itsuki took note of this.

Getting along with 33 adolescent girls in the class is a long task, but there is no rush. Class A will be led by him in the future, and they will have more than two years to get along with them.

Fujii Itsuki got up at seven in the morning, washed up simply, organized the Chinese lesson plan that he had worked overtime on last night, packed up his notebook and briefcase, and prepared to go out for breakfast.

The air in the winter morning is gray and damp.

He came to the living room, but he didn't expect Jiu Huayue had already gotten up and was cooking noodles in the open kitchen.

The sixteen-year-old girl was wearing Tachibana Kita's dark blue sailor uniform and an apron, and her back was slender.

A pair of long, white legs peek out from under the pleated skirt of the same color; the skin in the absolute area between the white stockings and the pleated skirt is white and smooth, and the thighs are slightly marked by the stockings, full of flesh.

He is over 1.7 meters tall, but his thighs still look chubby.

Is this girl eating a little too much recently?
Fujii Itsuki shook off these messy thoughts, walked to the girl's side, and looked at the steaming pot of boiling water.

"Are you making breakfast today?"

Jiuhuayue was startled.

When she saw it was Fujii Itsuki, the girl immediately covered her chest, frowned, and said sternly with a complaining tone:

“Uncle, you really are——!”

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Noodles again today?"

"Um"

When Jiuhuayue heard the word "again", she suddenly felt a little embarrassed.

But she quickly returned to normal.

"After all, I can't let you make breakfast all by yourself! I have to do something to avoid owing you a favor."

"If you can let me live in your house for free, you won't owe me a favor."

"It was my mother who invited you, not me."

Fujii Itsuki did not refute.

"How about I help you prepare the seasoning for the noodles? It's better to finish eating earlier so that we can set off earlier~~"

Fujii Itsuki yawned, "There is still a lot of work waiting for me to do at school."

"Uncle, staying up late again?"

"I just took over your class. I need to prepare lesson plans, class arrangements, class goals, etc."

"Well," Jiu Huayue stared at his profile for a while, her voice becoming softer, "Well, I'm really sorry to bother you, uncle."

"You don't want to call me teacher?"

"Didn't you tell me to shout whatever I want in private?"

“Yes, that happened.”

"Uncle, you have such a bad memory for gender!"

"Haha."

Fujii Itsuki smiled casually, cut some green onions from the onion box on the window, washed them, and chopped them on the chopping board.

"The water is boiling, you can go down now."

"Oh well."

While Jiuhuayue was doing this, she was also secretly watching Fujii Itsuki chopping green onions.

The uncle said yesterday that she didn't have to call him teacher after school, she could just call him whatever she liked.

The uncle is really weird.

As Mr. Fujii, he has a serious attitude at school, and the smile behind his half-frame glasses always reveals his amiable humility and gentleness.

As soon as school was over, he was that sloppy uncle who was lazy about his life, liked to smoke and look at the sky of Otaru City.

Occasionally, I would make coffee for the two of them to drink together.

Of course, what Jiu Huayue likes most is that the uncle can hold the guitar and play the guitar beside her while she drinks coffee.

The guitar he plays is always lyrical, soft and pleasant to the ear. Listening to it always helps me sleep well and have sweet dreams at night.

It is just as the uncle said, his work and life are two completely different sides.

Basically, I don't bring work and career content into my life.

She probably likes the current Fujii Itsuki more than Fujii Sensei.

"."

Jiuhuayue lowered her head and faced the noodles in her pot that were almost cooked.

Should I learn more about how to make breakfast so that I can eat it with my uncle?
As a thank you to his good friend for taking such good care of me.

After breakfast, they both went out and got on the bus at the same time.

"By the way! Uncle, when you got up, did you make the bed properly?"

"." Fujii Itsuki held the ring with his hands and did not answer.

The girl half closed her eyes and asked, "Uncle——"

Fujii Itsuki knew he couldn't avoid it, so he smiled apologetically, "Sorry! Jiuhua, I forgot for a moment."

"How could uncle promise me!"

"this one"

"I'm angry--!" Jiuhuayue puffed up her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry. I worked overtime yesterday and woke up in a daze. I really forgot."

"I'll settle the score with you after school!"

At the next stop, classmates from the same school will get on the bus, so they have to avoid suspicion, so the distance between the two of them standing in the bus will be much farther than usual.

Jiuhuayue didn't like this feeling very much.

It was as if the distance between myself and my good friend had suddenly been distanced.

Uncle, you can't shout anymore.
No more joking.
She knew it was not a good idea to chat with her teacher, but——

this matter
I should tell him about this matter that I have made up my mind about as soon as possible. Jiuhuayue pursed her lips, stretched out her hand to tuck her hair behind her ears, took a deep breath, and took the initiative to stand next to Fujii Tree.

"Uncle."

"Hmm?" Fujii Itsuki turned his head and smiled kindly.

Jiuhuayue quickly avoided the sight, lowered her head and called out obediently: "Teacher Fujii."

"What's up, Kuka-san?"

Jiuhuayue is not a timid person. She will step up when something happens and speak her mind when something happens.

So at this moment, beside Fujii Itsuki, she directly expressed her inner thoughts:

"Teacher Fujii, I want to officially join the wind band club and work hard to learn an orchestral instrument!"

Fujii Itsuki kept smiling, "What's the reason?"

"The reason is simple. I love music and I admire you even more. I joined the wind band because I want to try my best to follow in your footsteps!"

Fujii Itsuki was not too surprised by Jiuhuayue's words.

As she said, the child is particularly fond of music.

I have been in contact with her for many days, and she must have been curious and looked up her identity as the concertmaster of the orchestra during her college years on the Internet.

But
It’s really hard to evaluate Yatou’s goal.

Fujii Itsuki did not immediately agree to her words.

His body swayed with the car, and he looked out the window at the snow-covered streets of Otaru. After a short while, Fujii Itsuki spoke:
"Jiuhua has a good idea and a firm goal. It is understandable that you fall in love with orchestral music because of your admiration for a person, but in fact, it is not enough to learn orchestral music just because of the influence of others. Jiuhua, do you love others or do you love yourself who is cared about by others? I hope you can tell the difference."

Love others, or love yourself who is cared for by others?
Know the difference?

Jiuhuayue didn't quite understand what the uncle said.

"How about this, when you get to school, come to my office first. I have something to tell you."

Faculty Office of Orange North Private College.

Jiuhuayue followed Fujii Itsuki all the way to his work station.

At that time, there were still two teachers in the office.

Jiu Huayue quickly asked the question, "Teacher Fujii, are you questioning the choice I made just now? I have the confidence to persevere and continue learning."

"It's not questioning your confidence."

Fujii Itsuki faced the tall girl in front of him and said slowly:

"Let me tell you a story about a girl who has always liked and admired a boy."

"Yeah." Jiuhuayue was listening carefully.

"Both of them are in their twenties, and they were classmates from the same school. After graduation, they were assigned to work at different levels. The boy is a lawyer, young, promising and smart. The girl is a supermarket employee, ordinary, but the salary is acceptable in a big city.

"One day more than a decade later, the boy suddenly fell seriously ill. He lost his health and his job. His friends and colleagues were afraid of being implicated by him and kept away from him.

"When the girl heard the news, she, who loved the boy, spent almost all her savings of more than ten years to treat him. She almost gave everything for him. But she was afraid that the boy would know that it was the money she gave her, so she chose to donate anonymously."

"Strange," Jiu Huayue wondered, "Why would the girl be afraid that the boy would know that it was she who helped him? Didn't she always like the boy very much?"

Fujii Itsuki explained, "Because the girl knows that she is ordinary and not worthy of the boy, she doesn't want to make the boy feel grateful to her in this way and create emotional constraints. She likes him, but she only hopes that the boy can recover and get the happiness he deserves, so she chose to donate anonymously."

Jiuhuayue: "It sounds like the girl is a good person, selfless and dedicated."

Fujii Itsuki shook his head and continued, "Later, the boy recovered, became a lawyer again, and had a colorful life of his own. What about the girl?"

Jiu Huayue continued: "Is it because of your kindness that you have a second spring in your life?"

"Wrong, that's a fairy tale. Reality is not a fairy tale. The girl encountered an economic crisis and was laid off by the supermarket. She had no savings and could not do anything. She ate the worst food, lived in the worst house, and was always poor.

"When she was forty, the girl became even poorer because her father was old and sick and she had been unmarried for many years, so she sold all the property in her hometown.

"The boy has a wife and a daughter, a successful career and a happy marriage.

"Many years later, on a Christmas Eve, the distraught girl on the street accidentally met the happy boy and his family. The boy hugged his wife and held his child in his arms. They passed by each other in the vast crowd. Until the end, the boy did not recognize the girl.

"The girl felt very regretful. His happiness was in stark contrast to her own poverty and loneliness - why didn't she say that she had helped him?
"In the end, the girl saw the boy she loved had everything, and she died in the ice and snow with her unrequited love for him."

The story ended and Jiuhuayue fell into thought.

Fujii Itsuki took the opportunity to drink a sip of tea and summarized:

“The girl achieved her original wish, but she didn’t understand what her real wish was at the beginning, and this is the problem that led to the tragedy.

"Hoping to achieve happiness for others and hoping that others will thank you after achieving happiness for you may sound similar at first glance, but they are two opposite extremes."

Jiuhuayue: "Then what question do you want to ask me, Mr. Fujii?"

"Jiuka, you said you chose to join the brass band club because you admired me, so what did you actually expect to get?"

"I admire your skills and achievements, Mr. Fujii, and hope to reach your level."

Fujii Itsuki smiled, "And then?"

"Then."

Jiuhuayue was unable to say it. What she wanted at the beginning was to be able to play a duet with Teacher Fujii and to become good friends with him who could communicate with each other through souls.

I want to be good friends with uncle forever.

Fujii Itsuki did not comment on her silence and continued:

"Even if you can't say it out loud, Jiuhua, I know roughly what kind of response you want from me, Jiuhua, right?"

Jiu Huayue looked up, a little bit unbelieving that he had guessed it, "That's right."

"Are you ready to work hard for a year or two but still not get a response or recognition from me?"

"Yes, I will insist."

"Then let's expand the time a little bit. After you graduate, you go to college, you work, and you get married. You have to know that it is not easy to achieve my current skills. If you don't have talent, it will take time. During this period, you will be separated from me and won't get my feedback. If you continue to insist and still have no results, and you don't even know what you have been doing all these years for, will you regret it?"

"I--" Jiuhuayue had no idea how to answer.

“You need to think clearly whether you want to join the wind band for me or for yourself.

"If it's the former, I advise you to give up as soon as possible. If you lose your goals and persistence and don't get good positive feedback, you will only be confused in the end. This will not make you live happily, and you may even end up with regrets. Instead of doing this, it's better to give up at the beginning.

"I'm not in a hurry to hear your answer. You have enough time to think about it. After you have thought clearly about your ideas, come to me. I have to make it clear in advance that my standards are very strict on the road of music. If you really think about the path you want to take and want to join the wind band, I will not be as easy to talk to as usual."

"." Jiuhuayue was silent for a long time, then bowed her head politely to Fujii Itsuki and said, "Thank you for your guidance, Mr. Fujii."

"Yes," Fujii Itsuki agreed and put down the teacup in his hand, "Also, I have something else to tell you, Jiuhua."

"Teacher Fujii, please speak."

"You remember Hiiragi-san from our class, right?"

"Hiragi Rinka?" Jiuhuayue remembered the short-haired girl who always panicked and lowered her head when she saw her.

"Yes, what do you think of her?"

".classmate."

"What's your impression?"

"it's OK."

"How about trying to talk to her?"

"Why?" Jiuhuayue asked back.

"The teacher asked you to help. Hiiragi has a communication disorder and her mother is worried that her condition will get worse. As her classmate, you can keep an eye on her more conveniently."

"I promise."

Fujii Itsuki smiled, "Thank you. Also, Jiuhua-san, please don't be so arrogant and prickly when dealing with your classmates. This is not conducive to the relationship between classmates."

Jiu Huayue replied: "I just don't like the topic they are discussing. If you don't like it, just say you don't like it. If you hate it, just say you hate it."

Fujii Itsuki shook his head, "Isn't this the reason why you can't find friends?"

"It's better not to make friends than to go with the flow and pretend to agree with the crowd. I don't want to be a puppet, manipulated by others or the collective intentions of others. Then, Mr. Fujii, I will go back to the classroom first."

"Well, let's go."

Sitting in the office chair and watching the girl leaving the office, Fujii Itsuki noticed something.

Maybe not, he had a feeling that Jiuhua would understand what he really meant by saying that in the afternoon.

This child has an extraordinary execution ability.

(End of this chapter)