Chapter 272 What to choose?

When Fujii Itsuki came in with lunch, he noticed that Akai Muko was lying on the hospital bed, looking out the window.

Fujii Itsuki had seen this familiar profile and gaze at least ten times.

On Qiansui's face, on Xinchun's face, on Xiaoyue's face.
He has seen them all.

This look actually expresses one emotion - loneliness.

And it is the loneliness caused by regret and disappointment in the future.

People like this all have one characteristic - they feel hopeless or helpless about their own lives.

Fujii Itsuki pulled a stool over and placed the prepared food on it.

"The food is here, shall we have some lunch together?"

Hearing the voice, Akai Muzi's eyes fell on Fujii Itsuki's smiling face, and then her eyes fell on the food in his hand.

".Did you go downstairs specially to buy it?" asked Akai Muzi.

"Yes," Fujii Itsuki agreed casually, unwrapped the plastic bag, and brought out the dishes one by one. "You didn't have lunch, don't worry, I picked out the dishes you like, such as teriyaki chicken and boiled fish."

"."

Akai Muzi just watched, and after noticing the dishes he served, she became even more silent.

Because this guy really hasn't forgotten anything.

"Do you know what I like to eat?"

"Muzi, what are you asking?"

"That's why I used 'yet'. After so many years, and having spent so much time abroad, maybe my taste has changed."

"I don't know if you've changed since you were abroad, but I know that when you drink with me, you still like these things."

Fujii Itsuki picked up the food himself and handed the bowl and chopsticks to Akai Muzi.

"Here, take it."

"."

Noticing the food, Akai Muzi looked at him again.

This time she did not accept it with her cheerful personality as before, but lowered her eyebrows and asked in confusion:

"Ashu, do you think this is really okay?"

".It's nothing good or bad. You helped me so much during the two days I was sick. Shouldn't I come to see you?"

"You know that's not what I'm talking about."

".Do you think I shouldn't do this to you?"

"Yes."

"Do you think I shouldn't care about you?"

"Yes."

"So you didn't tell me directly that you were sick and hospitalized this time, right? You thought that my coming to see you would remind you of the time when you were sick and hospitalized and I took care of you."

"." Akagi Muzi did not speak, but responded with silence.

Fujii Itsuki sighed inwardly.

"As for what you said about helping you, Shu. Shu, you really don't need to do anything to repay me. To me, this is just to make up for the mistakes I made before. I'm sorry that I abandoned you before."

"Muzi, I don't care about this now."

"But Shu, I still care about you! I can't forgive myself. I didn't want to tell you about my hospitalization this time. I think I am just bearing the consequences. If you come to visit me and waste your time, I will feel bad."

Muzi's situation can be said to be very bad.

When Fujii Itsuki heard Muzi say this, he couldn't think of how to persuade her to let go of what happened before.

"So Muzi, you said you wanted to go to Shikoku Island."

"Yes, that's what you think, Shu."

"Will you start a normal life again there?"

"What is normal?"

". Make new friends, find a good husband to marry, be a good mother and so on."

"Compared to what you said, Shu, I think it's better for me to open a flower shop quietly by myself."

"."

Ugh.
Now Fujii Itsuki knows that Muzi likes him very much.

It is much deeper than what I knew in the past.

Perhaps it was because he loved her too deeply that Muzi's inferiority complex, which he had since childhood, had always been playing tricks between him and her.

She felt that the gap between them was growing, and she was becoming less and less suitable for herself.

You really can't blame her.

Because she had already made countless efforts to catch up with herself.

But I just can't keep up.

Of course, there is a solution to this problem.

The most crucial point is to give Muzi confidence, let her believe that she doesn't care about these things, and that the relationship between them does not need these external proofs.

But now
Now, nearly eight years after the breakup.

The relationship between the two is no longer what it used to be.

In the past, Fujii Itsuki could just take her out for a good time, tell herself that she liked him, that she didn't care about these things, and that she and she wanted to have a complete family.

Now both of them are gone.

Now we are only friends who used to be lovers, and colleagues.

"Ashu."

"Ah."

"If I go to Shikoku Island, will you try to keep me here?"

"Definitely."

"In what capacity?"

".friend."

When Akai Muzi heard this, she didn't react much. She just acted calmly and naturally as if it was a matter of course.

Of course, her expression still showed some relief.
"Ashu."

"Ok?"

Akai Muzi smiled and said to him: "I think we should not talk about these unhappy things."

"That's true. Then Muzi, have you eaten first?"

".So that's your way of giving back to me for substituting for you?"

"Yes, after all, I no longer blame you for what happened before."

Akai Muzi took the bowl and chopsticks he handed her and began to eat lunch quietly on the hospital bed.

Fujii Itsuki just looked at her quietly.

The atmosphere began to become weird amid the silence between the two.

Even though I promised Muzi that I wouldn't think about their past, I couldn't help but think about it when he was looking at her quietly.

Think about Muzi's past experiences, think about how much Muzi liked the way I was before, think about the smile on her face when she sat on my bicycle and lay on my back.

These are indeed beautiful memories.

"Yeah, some more."

"You finished eating so soon?" Fujii Itsuki reached out to take the bowl and chopsticks and served her some more food.

".Who said this food suits my taste so well?"

Akai Muzi stared at the food in her hand for a while, "But Shu, I'm afraid no one will understand this so well in Shikoku Island in the future."

"Make more friends."

"I don't really like spending time on this kind of socializing, and you know, Shu, it's hard to have a friend in this world that you can call a true friend, right?"

Fujii Itsuki didn't know why, but he could sense Mu Zi's mood at the moment.

"Wouldn't it be better to stay in Otaru?"

"Otaru is pretty good," Akai Muzi smiled at him again, "but every day when I go to and from get off work in Otaru and walk to the canal, I always think of something. It's nice to reminisce about my youth occasionally, but there are too many memories and it's easy to get lost in them."

"."

"I'm going to use the bathroom."

"Go."

Fujii Itsuki walked out of the ward, and the moment he walked out of the room, he actually felt a sense of relief.

Where does this pressure come from?

Is it because of the pressure that he can't do anything to change Muzi's current situation?
It was like seeing Jiu Huayue being bullied, and standing by without being able to help her and only being able to watch her cry. It was a heavy pressure.

Fujii Itsuki kept shaking his head.

Although he had many thoughts of wanting to keep Muzi who had helped him during this period, but.
Fujii Itsuki could only shake his head.

*
At the other end of the corridor, Matsumae Shinharu was silent for a long time after listening to what Hiiragi Rinka said.

"Really? Akai-sensei also had such an experience with Fujii-sensei. Originally, I thought they just liked each other in high school. Now, so much time has passed. Even if Akai-sensei still has a good impression of Fujii-sensei, it's just a good impression."

".How does Xinchun feel?"

"It's hard for me to explain, but I feel like Mr. Akai's life was not very satisfactory."

Hiiragi Rinka put her hands behind her skirt, leaned against the wall, lowered her head, and said in a weak voice:

".I can understand Mr. Akai's feelings. No matter what you do, you can't compare to him. It's very uncomfortable. Does Xinchun think he is a genius?"

"Me?" Matsumae Shinharu met Hiiragi Rinka's gaze. "Yes."

Matsumae Shinchun also leaned against the wall, lost in thought, "I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel anything. I think I have some talent, but I think there must be people in this world who are better than me."

"But Xinchun is still considered a genius."

"That's right"

“In fact, compared to geniuses like Kokoro and Satsuki, ordinary people like Akai-sensei and I are more likely to feel uneasy and dissatisfied, because no matter how hard we try, we always feel that we are chasing an unattainable goal.

"This feeling makes people feel lost and helpless. The body feels cold.

“We tried to get out of this predicament by our own efforts, but in the end, we failed.

"At times like this, I feel even more that I need something. When Xiaoyue first said that I was her friend, I was really, really happy in my heart, as well as you, Xinchun, and Chitose."

Hiiragi Rinka's voice became quieter and quieter.

"This is also the reason why I have always wanted to be good friends with you all. Before I became friends with you, You and I were in the same club, but I couldn't keep up with the progress and was afraid of holding everyone back, so I chose to quit the club."

Matsumae Shinharu has probably experienced this feeling to some extent.

Powerlessness.

She really doesn't like it.

Whether it is on yourself or on the people around you.

This is also one of the reasons why she chose to accept Jiuhuayue.

"So, Rinka, you chose to tell Mr. Fujii about Mr. Akai's illness."

In front of her good friend, Hiiragi Rinka began to feel scared and blame herself, "You can blame me however you want. I just think that Akai-sensei is such a good person, he shouldn't get nothing. At least he needs some communication, even a little bit of care."

Matsumae Shinchun left the wall and sighed, "I never blamed you, Rinka."

Hiiragi Rinka still lowered her head.

"It's true! Although it's not good for me that you brought Mr. Fujii here, if this matter is not resolved, it will also be a problem in Mr. Fujii's mind, right?"

"Heart Spring Sauce"

"Now that Mr. Fujii and Mr. Akai are talking, although I don't know what the result will be, they are actively solving the problem, aren't they?"

"Um"

Matsumae Shinchun showed her signature elegant smile as a young lady, "Don't worry, Rinka, I will take care of this matter."

".?" Hiiragi Rinka looked at her with some confusion.

*
Matsumae Shinharu went home first and found an excuse to deal with Jiuhuayue and Yangkui Chitose. Soon after, Fujii Itsuki also came back.

Matsumae Shinchun also asked about Akai Muko's condition.

"According to the doctor, she won't be discharged until Tuesday. After all, she's been overworked, so she needs to rest more."

"During this period, Fujii-sensei has been visiting Akai-sensei?"

"Of course I have to go see her," Fujii Itsuki answered as a matter of course, "After all, Muzi went to the hospital because she was substituting for me, so it's my duty as a friend to visit her."

Matsumae Shinchun didn't say much about this, just nodded with a smile.

At night, when Fujii Itsuki was sleeping, Matsumae Shinchun sneaked into his room.

Fujii Itsuki didn't lock the door at all. If any of the three of them wanted to find him at night, they could come to him on their own.

There is only Xinchun tonight.

Seeing her coming up to him with a red face, Fujii Itsuki didn't care about anything anymore.

Today he was inexplicably upset because of Mu Zi's matter, and he just needed to vent his feelings.

Today he was less gentle and considerate.

This must have been unfamiliar to Kokoharu, but Fujii Itsuki didn't expect that Kokoharu would be able to adapt and make the most of the experience.

Fujii Itsuki felt that she was always taking care of herself.

"Teacher, have some sake."

"Drink? What do you want to drink for?"

"that is."

Matsumae Shinchun was embarrassed to explain, but Fujii Itsuki understood immediately.

Considering that I didn't have to go to work tomorrow and would probably have to spend a lot of time with Xinchun today, I agreed.

"That's fine."

Xinchun is a bit similar to Xiao Jiuhua. She likes to look down on others, so Fujii Itsuki can only look at her from below.

At the same time, don't forget to put your hands together.

The moonlight silhouetted the girl's slender back. From Fujii Itsuki's perspective, Xinchun's face had a hint of shyness and charm.

Coupled with the delicate touch of these hands clasped together, Fujii Itsuki closed his eyes and felt that Xinchun's voice was like a lullaby that could soothe his heart.

It’s no wonder that the sake that Xinchun brought from home is really useful.

Xinchun said it was given by her aunt.
How come the Matsumae family has so many amazing things?

Fujii Itsuki just felt like he was eighteen years old again.

"Teacher, are you okay?"

"Yeah, very good," Fujii Itsuki replied as if he was about to fall asleep.

"Xingchun is asking about the teacher's health."

"Ah? Not bad."

"Is that so? Then do you still want Xinchun to be like this?"

"Well, that's all."

"Ok."

After hearing Xinchun's voice, Fujii Itsuki found that she had not changed at all, so he continued to close his eyes.

Matsumae Shinchun looked at him, half asleep but not quite asleep, and knew that the teacher was drunk.

The truth comes out after drinking, now it’s time to speak the truth.

Matsumae Shinchun did not ask directly, but asked some general questions first, and then used these questions to lead the matter towards today's events.

Of course, Matsumae Shinchun never rested for a moment, trying his best to stay in a state of fantasy.

That is to keep his body hanging and force him to answer.

Although I feel sorry for the teacher to do this, I do it to resolve the problem. I'm sorry, teacher.

Matsumae Shinharu apologized silently in her heart.

"Teacher, you went to see Akai-sensei today, right?"

"Um"

"How's Akai-sensei?"

"My body is not bad, but my mood is bad."

"Why not?"

"I'm not sure why, but I guess now that I know, I will never choose her again."

"So what do you think, teacher?"

"I'm sorry."

"teacher?"

Matsumae Shinharu urged.

Fujii Itsuki frowned now, not wanting Xinchun to rest, so he had to answer.

".I definitely can't agree to that."

"Because you consider me, Satsuki, and Chitose?"

"affim."

"Then if you, teacher, don't consider us, will you choose to keep us?"

"meeting."

So decisive?

Matsumae Shinchun was a little surprised.

"why?"

".I'm not sure, maybe. I still feel a little regretful about the past. Muzi has been very good to me recently. If it weren't for Xiaoyue and the others, I would have agreed to Muzi's request as expected after being urged by the dean once or twice."

"Then, teacher, do you still have a place in your heart for Mr. Akai?"

".Some. regrets. for the past."

"Compared to me, Xiaoyue and the others?"

"You are definitely more important."

No wonder the teacher just said he wouldn’t agree.

It turned out to be the case.

After asking the questions, Matsumae Shinchun did not treat Fujii Itsuki unfairly and let him sleep as soundly as possible.

As for her, after covering Fujii Itsuki with the quilt, she also fell down, leaned against the pillow and closed her eyes, then began to think about how to measure the relationship between Muzi and the teacher.

She was definitely leaning towards the teacher's choice of rejection.

She agreed and thought it was the right thing to do.

But after listening to what Rinka told her about Mr. Akai in the afternoon, her heart did soften a little.

Matsumae Shinchun didn't know what to choose.

It seems that Akai's biggest problem is that he has regrets but now he doesn't dare to take the initiative at all.

(End of this chapter)