Chapter 27 Teacher, what is bondage?

The next morning, it was still snowing heavily.

As usual, Fujii Itsuki took a special car to the Matsumae family home in Teine Ward.

After seven days of traveling, Fujii Itsuki was already familiar with the route to the shrine.

"Mr. Fujii, I'm very sorry, I have something important to do, so I won't take you there this time. Miss is still practicing the festival dance at the shrine."

"no problem."

Butler Nagayama disappeared from sight, and Fujii Itsuki followed the cherry blossom tree-lined approach, passed the torii gate, and entered the Matsumae Shrine.

Walking up the stone steps, you will soon see the main hall of the shrine.

Even on snowy days, there are still many pilgrims coming here to worship and offer sacrifices. A few young witches working here sell amulets and spice sachets to pilgrims and tourists.

Fujii Itsuki looked at them for a moment, then walked along the corridor towards the back of the main hall.

The open-air platform behind the main hall was covered with snow.

The smell of snow, the sound of ancient bells, the tinkling of wind chimes on the eaves blown by the wind, these smells and sounds seem to slow down the pace of the seconds one by one.

Matsumae Shinharu, wearing Chihaya's hagoromo, raised her head as usual, gazing at the falling snow in the distance, as if she was looking at a non-existent corner of the world, as if she did not belong to this world.

Once again, those absent-minded eyes saw.

She is really similar to Jiuhua at the station that day.
Fujii Itsuki looked at her fair profile and leaned over.

"What is Matsumae thinking about?"

“I rarely see my mother. I wonder if the snow I saw the year she passed away was also so white and beautiful.”

With her hands on the red guardrail, Matsumae Shinchun stared at the snowflakes on the branches. Her fair face was like white porcelain, and against the backdrop of the snow, it had a faint red color like plum blossoms.

When she heard Fujii Itsuki's voice, the girl quickly turned around, clasped her hands in front of her, and saluted gracefully.

Miss Matsumae's every move always makes people feel her good upbringing.

"Sorry.! I didn't expect it to be Mr. Fujii."

Fujii Itsuki smiled, "Forgot? You don't need to be so formal with me."

Matsumae Shinchun smiled beautifully, "Yes, the teacher said that he doesn't like overly formal etiquette, which makes the teacher feel uncomfortable."

"Matsumae looks like he's worried again. Is it about the professor?"

Matsumae Shinchun shook her head, her eyes fixed on the red wooden board stained by the wind and snow, "It's just that I always feel a little reluctant to leave the teacher. Today, the teacher will end his work as a tutor."

"Separation is normal. Life is like a train. There are always people getting on and off. No one's friends are lifelong."

"But I still want to spend a few more days with the teacher. I haven't found the answer to the question the teacher asked me yesterday. I'm sorry. I just think it will be very happy to chat with the teacher."

Standing in front of the pine tree in the snow, Xinchun smiled again.

"If you ask me what I want most now, I can answer that it is for the teacher to continue teaching me. However, I cannot restrict the teacher just because of my personal opinion."

There is a bit of beauty and sadness in the girl's smile.

It is not difficult to understand what she was thinking at this time.

Even though we had only been in contact for a few days, Song Qian had already regarded himself as a very important companion to her.

Standing on the shrine's observation deck and looking at almost the entire Matsumae residence, Fujii Itsuki sighed.

"Matsumae."

"Ah."

"How about taking the teacher to visit Matsumae Shrine today before going to study?"

Matsumae Shinchun's eyes lit up instantly.

"Ok?"

"Of course!"

It is not uncommon to let the shrine maidens lead the way, but the problem is that the costume that Matsumae Shinharu wears for the festival is different from that of ordinary shrine maidens. She even has a golden crown on her head.

Several young tourists who came to visit the shrine were stunned by the beauty of Matsumae Shinharu when she arrived in front of the main hall.

Just looking at her from the side, her slender neck, graceful ears, and the gorgeous and noble crown on her forehead make her so beautiful that one cannot look directly at her, yet she is so gentle and quiet.

The tourists immediately asked the tour guide if they could take a picture of the girl, and the tour guide then began to ask the shrine maidens who were responsible for guiding the tourists in the shrine.

The priestesses were in a really difficult situation. Why did Lord Gon Gongsi come out wearing festival clothes? Those were attire that was only worn during festivals.

But they couldn't stop the tourists' enthusiasm and interest. After asking her, they were told that they could take pictures.

"I should have let you change your clothes first."

"It's okay!" Matsumae Shinchun smiled and covered her face, looking at Mr. Fujii who was much taller than her and replied, "No one will say anything to me in the shrine anyway."

"Quan Gongsi, I remember it should be a position similar to vice-principal."

"Yes, my aunt is the one who does the job."

"I thought you, Matsumae, were a mascot in the shrine, and all you had to do was look pretty."

Matsumae Shinchun puffed up her cheeks and said, "Teacher, this is too much!"

"Haha, sorry, sorry."

Matsumae Shrine is quite large, with the main hall, side hall, and side hall. It's a bit tiring to walk around it all.

What interested Fujii Itsuki the most was the history of the Matsumae family in the shrine.

There is a lot of knowledge here that is not available in the outside world.

After strolling around, the two returned to the observation deck.

Fujii Itsuki talked about teaching.

"In fact, your course was completed ahead of schedule yesterday afternoon, Matsumae."

"Doesn't that mean there's nothing to learn today?"

"Yeah." Fujii Itsuki nodded slightly.

Matsumae Shinchun lowered her head: "."

"Don't be sad. Why don't we take this opportunity to chat more? Have you thought about the major and university you need to study in the future?"

"Which university do I need to apply to?" Matsumae Shinchun returned to the edge of the observation deck.

Seeing that she had some doubts, Fujii Itsuki added, "Which university do you want to attend?"

Matsumae Shinharu shook her head and stared at the snow on the Matsumae courtyard below. "It's not clear yet."

"Have you ever thought about visiting Kyoto University, where your mother teaches?"

This sentence made Matsumae Shinchun's expression stagnate, but she still shook her head, "Father doesn't want me to know too much about mother."

"So, don't you have any other schools you like?"

"My father hasn't told me about this yet."

"Things like university shouldn't be--"

Just as Fujii Itsuki was about to speak, he suddenly thought of Matsumae Shinchun's identity.

He stopped what he was about to say.

"Teacher Fujii, what do you want to say?"

Fujii Itsuki did not answer, but asked the girl another question to verify his idea.

"Matsumae, what do you think or how do you feel about being a shrine maiden at Matsumae Shrine?"

"my feeling."

This made Matsumae Shinchun frown and think for a long time.

After a moment, she looked up and replied, "I'm not sure. It should be said that as the eldest daughter of the Matsumae family, it is something I must do." As expected, that was her answer.

The child has been "bound".

Whether it's her identity or her family.

It was so difficult for her to answer questions like "what do I want" and "where should I go".

"Teacher Fujii, I'm very curious. Can I ask you some questions?"

"It's okay," Fujii Itsuki smiled at how cute she was for asking him about her personal matters. "I promised you yesterday that I would tell you something about myself."

"I was talking to Sakura about you again yesterday. Last night, you said that Mr. Fujii used to be a teacher in Tokyo. Why did he say 'in the past'?"

"There is a misalignment between ideals and reality." Fujii Itsuki said without hesitation.

"What does it mean?"

"Does Matsumae know what 'antinomy' is?"

Matsumae Shinchun thought about it seriously, then shook his head and replied, "I don't know."

"Antinomy is a philosophical concept proposed by Immanuel Kant, a classical German philosopher in the 18th century. In layman's terms, this concept refers to the situation where a person is faced with two contradictory or conflicting moral principles, values ​​or decisions. No matter which side he chooses, he will violate the other side."

Matsumae Shinchun fell into thought, nodded, and quickly understood, "So in this case, no matter what choice you make, it will violate another relative principle?"

"Yes."

Fujii Itsuki once again admired Ms. Matsumae's ability to understand.

“When I realized that the more I pursued my original ideal, the more I deviated from it, I chose to leave Tokyo.”

"Teacher, you are really knowledgeable. Is there something preventing Mr. Fujii from realizing his dream? Mr. Fujii, can you tell me about your life in Tokyo?"

"."

"Not available?"

"reason?"

"I'm very curious about Mr. Fujii's past and want to hear his story."

"I see," Fujii Itsuki laughed, "Okay."

The story of going to Tokyo is a long one.

Excitement in one year, helplessness in two years, compromise in three years.

Fujii Itsuki started by talking about his graduation from university and then mentioned that he resigned and returned to his hometown a while ago.

“It turns out that the teacher grew up in an orphanage.”

“I don’t hate my parents.”

".Hey, why? They treated you like that."

"What's the point of resentment? Instead of wasting time resenting these two people I've never met, I should spend my time on myself. On the contrary, I should thank them. It was because of their choice that day that I got to know the director and everyone in the welfare home."

"The teacher is really open-minded, but why would he do that?"

"You mean my behavior that made Takashima lose face after I resigned?"

"Yes, if Mr. Fujii did that, even if the school apologizes to you, you won't be able to continue teaching in Tokyo."

That's good.
Matsumae Shinharu saw this point very accurately.

Fujii Itsuki also understood that even if what he did and all the events he described were true and just, it would still not be of any help to the future and would only have a negative impact.

Because no matter what, Takashima is his superior.

The subordinate did such a thing in front of his superior, making the superior lose face. In the eyes of the old-fashioned leadership of the school, whether it was right or wrong, it was an act of insubordination.

This means that he will basically have no chance of becoming a teacher in the future.

"I think you, Mr. Fujii, must be aware of all this, but why did you choose to completely turn against Academic Affairs Officer Takashima? If you had not torn things apart completely in the end, and you had simply resigned voluntarily, with your resume, as long as you could hold on for a few more years, you would definitely have a more exciting life in the future."

Indeed, why did I break the rules and choose to tell all the teachers and students in the school about the true face of Academic Affairs Officer Takashima when I knew the situation well?

Fujii Itsuki didn't think about this question at first, but looking back now, it only took him half a minute to come to a conclusion.

"Maybe, I just don't like being restrained."

“I don’t like being constrained”

Matsumae Shinchun lowered his eyes and repeated it several times in a low voice.

"Teacher, what counts as bondage?"

"Do what you don't want to do, and do what others want."

Fujii Itsuki recalled the past and added:
"Matsumae, you're right. If I had resigned at that time, it would have been very beneficial to my future life. But I just couldn't accept it. Why should I do work that I shouldn't do? Why should I be paid less for no reason and be treated with sarcasm even though I have completed my work in excess?

“Just because he is my boss? Just because he is my senior? Just because of these, he took the fruits of my labor as a matter of course and put his name on it?

"The reality is actually similar to what you just said, Songqian. Most teachers choose to swallow their anger for the sake of living. But I don't accept it. I hate this kind of behavior. His behavior makes me feel disgusted.

"I think that at that time, I didn't want to be bound by 'Takashima' forever, so I chose to resign that way--"

!

When Fujii Itsuki reached this point, he suddenly seemed to be choked by something in his throat and stopped talking abruptly.

"Teacher Fujii?"

He suddenly figured it out.

He finally knew what the problem was that had been bothering him these days.

It turns out that I returned to Otaru to escape my own failure.

The reason why I remained indifferent after hearing Teacher Ju Beique many times was that I was afraid of the past!

He is afraid of being rejected when trying to find a job again, which is equivalent to being afraid that society will completely deny him as a "teacher".

He suddenly wanted to laugh at himself.

It’s a pity that I had told Jiu Huayue before that I was now unemployed and was not bound by the identity of "teacher".

It turns out that there has always been a place for my past ideals in my heart.

The dream of opening a coffee shop is nothing more than an excuse to escape reality!

I simply don’t have the courage to face my past self as a teacher again.

"I'm sorry, Matsumae. Just pretend you didn't hear what I just said."

"Why? Isn't what Mr. Fujii said very well? I want to hear more from you."

"No it's nothing."

*
I don’t know why, but when I’m in a bad mood, the sky always seems darker than usual.

The last day at the Matsumae family ended in such an unpleasant atmosphere.

Until the moment of leaving, Matsumae Shinchun was still worried about his condition and asked to personally send the teacher home.

Fujii Itsuki refused.

The engines of the snowplows on the road bring the hustle and bustle of the city, and today's heavy snow has not stopped.

Fujii Itsuki wandered on the deserted streets and truly felt lost.

I thought I had let go of the past and abandoned my ideal of becoming a teacher. I returned to Otaru with the idea of ​​starting a new life. But I didn't expect that the real reason I came back was to escape from my own failure.

It’s not that I’m not afraid of failure. Quite the contrary. It’s because I falsely deny my past failures that I can’t let it go.

It turned out that my idea of ​​returning to Otaru, finding a random job to accumulate funds and open a coffee shop was simply an excuse for my inability to accept my failure.

What new goal is nothing more than an excuse to escape?
Before he knew it, Fujii Itsuki had returned to Kuka's house.

He habitually took out the key to open the door, but he didn't expect that when he just entered the inner room, he saw Jiu Huayue in the lobby, arguing with a middle-aged woman who was dressed very elegantly.
Jiuhua, that girl, still has tears in her eyes
(End of this chapter)