Chapter 19 Do I want to be a teacher again?
I recovered from the cold yesterday.

Fujii Itsuki believed that the quick recovery from this severe cold was inseparable from Jiuhuayue's care.

After the cold incident, his impression of Jiu Huayue changed from a pretty girl who was not frank to a pretty girl who was kind but not frank in her heart.

Because of her kindness and care, he more or less didn't want her to commit suicide again.

But that's all.

During these three days, the two of them still maintained a stranger relationship, and only greeted each other when they met in the morning.

I got up early today and happened to meet Jiuhuayue coming downstairs again.

"Uncle, are you well from your cold?"

"I was fine yesterday. Thank you for your concern. Are you going out?"

Fujii Itsuki saw Jiuhuayue dressed for going out again, wearing the familiar white beret and red shawl, and matching white cotton socks and a white dress.

She was carrying a small purple waist bag and wearing a beige scarf.

It is full of girlishness, but also has a bit of mature flavor.

This should be an illusion caused by her being too tall.

It's holiday time now. Fujii Itsuki doesn't know what she is going to do, but it seems that she has to go out in formal clothes like this every once in a while.

Maybe it’s because of her “job”.
Fujii Itsuki was a little curious, but he didn't want to ask Jiuhuayue about her privacy and make things difficult for himself.

After spending these days together, he has come to understand clearly that Jiuhua hates others asking about her private life.

"Yes, I'm going out."

"You're coming back late at night this time too?"

"It's hard to say. Maybe he won't come back in the next two days," Jiu Huayue answered subconsciously as she walked down the stairs. Then she remembered that it was Fujii Itsuki who was asking her a question. "Uncle, why are you asking this?"

"I just recovered from my cold. I'm very grateful to you. If you come back in the evening, I'm going to make you dinner to thank you."

Jiu Huayue gave him a strange look and refused, "No, taking care of you is my way of repaying your favor."

Fujii Itsuki shook his head. "What you do is more valuable than a bowl of instant noodles and a bento."

"Then consider it as my extra reward. Thank you for thinking so. I am willing to do all that for you because you are so sick. No matter how much I dislike you, I still worry that you will die in my house."

These words expressed concern and gratitude, but they still sounded a little cold.

Is she doing this on purpose, or is she just not good at speaking?

"Also, I suggest that you smoke less."

"how?"

"Not only does your body smell heavily of cigarettes, but your room starts to become a bit messy after just a few days of living there. This will really ruin other people's impression of you."

"What do you mean?"

"Your ashtray, your clothes, and the garbage you left by your bed for days without throwing it away."

"How can a single man's room be tidy?"

Jiuhuayue sighed, "But at least don't let it interfere with your own life, right?"

"I'm used to it. It's not wet garbage anyway, so there's no odor."

How do you say this?
It is basically impossible for a single man to keep his house tidy.

Because no one cared, I would just throw my clothes on the bed when I got home, and put the food and plastic bags of my lunch boxes at the head of the bed, and the ashtray was also placed there.

Normally, he is too lazy to clean as long as there is no peculiar smell.

Anyway, no guests will come to see me.

This was a habit he developed in Tokyo.

Of course, the image of a teacher to the outside world is another matter.

"How can that situation be a habit?"

Fujii Itsuki recalled the three months when he just quit his job and lived a life of drunkenness and debauchery. "When you are so stressed that you just want to fall asleep as soon as you get home, you won't think so anymore. Everything will be better the more convenient it is."

There was obviously some story behind the uncle's words. Jiuhua Yueguang could sense the pressure just by listening, so she made no comment.

"But you have to take care of yourself in life."

"Jiuka, you said exactly the same thing as Chitose said when he came yesterday."

"Of course, any normal girl would find your life unbearable, not to mention that Yang Kui-san cares so much about an old man like you."

"She is the only one who cares so much about my living habits." Fujii Itsuki habitually reached into his trouser pocket, but found that he didn't bring any cigarettes. Then he realized that Jiuhua was in front of him, so he took his hand out again.

Jiuhuayue was inexplicably quiet for a moment.

".Uncle, your hard conditions are pretty good. If you want to find a girlfriend, you'd better find a job as soon as possible. This will make your life look more formal."

"I'm looking for a job, but I'm not interested in a girlfriend."

How other people like Fujii Itsuki don't know, but he lives and works on two sides.

In other words, whether he has a job or not, it has nothing to do with his private life.

Whether his life is messy or not is two different things from whether he has a good image as a teacher.

As for girlfriend.
Some people always say that as long as you graduate from a prestigious university, you don't have to worry about finding a girlfriend.
But in reality, everyone is quite afraid of the identity of students from prestigious universities, because they are "excellent students" and it is difficult for ordinary people to integrate into the circle of topics.

Imagine if you were an ordinary college student who got mediocre grades and wrote a sloppy graduation thesis, but you met a woman who graduated with a master's or doctorate from Oxford or Cambridge on a blind date, wouldn't you be overwhelmed with pressure instantly?

I can't understand the papers published by the other party at all, and his circle is basically discussions and exchanges among academic seniors and juniors.

I wanted to check out her social media account to see what she liked, but I found out that the latest thing she shared was a paper published by another academic giant in a top journal.

I really don't understand what she's saying.

Although Fujii Itsuki is not to that extent, he likes reading books and literature.

I like to comment on what I have learned from the book, and what social phenomena, philosophical thinking and historical trends a story or plot corresponds to.

In some ways, he is somewhat similar to the above situation.

As for girls of the same age, most women in their twenties are interested in makeup, fashion and food.

A herbivore guy like him who studies at a prestigious university and doesn't follow the trend is naturally unpopular.

He really liked the novels written by his university professor, and was influenced by them when he chose to study at Kyoto University. Unfortunately, the novels were too niche, so after all these years, he still hadn't found a friend with whom he could communicate.

Without any common ground, there would be no topic to talk about. Naturally, having a girlfriend was simply a luxury.

"I don't plan on finding a girlfriend."

"Because uncle really can't find it?" Jiu Huayue tilted her head slightly, and her purple eyes looked straight into his eyes.

"."

Fujii Itsuki's eyes met hers. He could read the word sincerity in the girl's eyes.

She said this from the bottom of her heart.

There is no discrimination, it is just said as a matter of course.

It's really heartbreaking, and it's even more heartbreaking when she takes the word "uncle" for granted.

Fujii Itsuki suddenly felt like a failure, a man in his forties who had never even held a girl's hand. What a failure.

Jiu Huayue saw his expression and realized that she might have said something wrong. She reached out and pulled the small bag on her shoulder and comforted him:
"Uncle, don't be too pessimistic. Like I said just now, if you have good physical qualities and pay attention to your life and daily appearance, you may still be able to attract girls."

“How likely is it?”

"Well, life is long, there will definitely be someone who likes you."

"."

This is really... a great way of speaking.

"I won't say anything else. I have to go out now. Goodbye, uncle."

"You don't want to eat breakfast? I was just planning to cook a bowl of noodles."

"No, thank you."

Jiu Huayue waved behind her, reached out to open the door, stepped out with her long legs wrapped in white cotton socks, and walked outside.

She passed the snowman beside the path, walked on the snow-covered path, walked through the big iron gate and turned left, and soon disappeared from sight.

Jiuhua is gone, and the words she left behind are quite heartbreaking.

In fact, Fujii Itsuki has always told himself that the reason he has never had a girlfriend is because he doesn't want to find one.

If you want to find it, you will definitely find it.

But in fact, it is most likely not the case. I just simply couldn't find it, so I didn't dare to take the initiative to look for it.

Haha, that seems to be the case.

When I was in school, no girls ever discussed me. At work, the female teachers had little interest in me. The most common thing I heard from them was about the love experiences of certain seniors or predecessors.

I and all the opposite sex are at most ordinary classmates and colleagues.

Thinking back carefully, it seems that from my college days until the end of my teaching career, no girl has ever had a crush on me or had any thoughts about me.

Not to mention love letters. Apart from jokes from my same-sex classmates, I've never received any.

To me, this thing is an impossible youth fantasy.

It seems that everyone never pays attention to their appearance. Anyway, he has never experienced the feeling of attracting the opposite sex's attention when walking on the street.

Jiuhua said he was an uncle, and Qiansui also said he was much older.

I have never had a girlfriend, not because I don’t want to find one, but because I simply can’t find one.

it's wired.
Obviously, I don’t care about this at all, and I don’t care about my appearance.

Why do I think about it now?
In fact, you still care about these things in your heart, right?
I began to feel melancholy.

Fujii Itsuki didn't think about the key to the problem. Seeing Jiuhuayue leave, he went over to close the door, turned back to the kitchen and went to make breakfast.

He himself did not want to make breakfast.

But he promised Qiansui that as long as Qiansui didn't come, he would cook well and take good care of himself.

In Chitose's words, "If Brother Shu doesn't cook properly, I will go over and help you even if my father scolds me every day!"

This message was sent on a chat software. Although it was only text, Fujii Itsuki could always imagine Chitose's cute face puffing up as she typed these words.

He didn't want to make it too fancy, so he cooked a bowl of noodles, made two fried eggs, cooked some vegetables, took a photo and sent it to Qiansui.

Fujii Itsuki: [Picture]
Fujii Itsuki: [Is this okay?]
two minutes later
Tachibana Chitose: [Brother Shu is awesome! (Thumbs up) (Thumbs up)]
At this moment, Fujii Itsuki felt like he was the child.

Ju Chitose: [But did Brother Shu only cook one bowl?]
This girl must have asked this on purpose.

Fujii Tree tapped the screen with his left thumb and replied: [Jiuhuayue doesn't eat what I cook. Well, I should say she is very wary. How should I put it? There was a misunderstanding between her and me at the station that day, which has caused her to be very wary of me until now. I asked her some questions, but she never answered me. The day before yesterday, the cold was a special case. She owed me a favor.]
Seeing this message, Chitose Yangkui, who was holding the phone on the other end, immediately laughed.

Then she typed a reply: [It must be Jiuhua who misunderstood Brother Shu. Brother Shu is such a good person!]
Fujii Itsuki: [You are probably the only one who thinks this way, Chitose.]
Ju Chitose: [How could it be! The director and everyone in the orphanage thinks so. Everyone says that Brother Shu is the most powerful person in the orphanage.]
Seeing the girl's words, Fujii Itsuki couldn't help but smile at himself.

I am now probably best described as decadent.

There is no longer the indomitable energy of the past.

Speaking of this, Fujii Itsuki recalled what Jiuhuayue had said just now that he couldn't find a girlfriend. He also recalled the fact that he really didn't have much masculine charm.

Chitose is pretty.

She seems to be quite popular in school.
Since I really care about this issue, I might as well ask her, who is a beautiful girl.

Fujii Itsuki: [Chitose, I have a question for you. You must answer me truthfully. You are not allowed to lie, and you are not allowed to judge us with tinted glasses because of our relationship. You must be objective, considering your status as a high school girl.]
Ju Chitose: [Brother Shu said! I'm waiting for you.]
[Qi Tsune, what do you think of my appearance?]
This sentence is really embarrassing.

After typing, Fujii Itsuki hesitated for two seconds and finally clicked the send button.

Chitose on the other end of the phone was absolutely stunned; she hadn't expected herself to ask this.

So she basically replies to messages within seconds, but this one took her a full half minute to respond:
[Brother Shu doesn’t look bad at all, he’s very handsome! ]
Fujii Itsuki immediately typed to remind her: [Chitose.]
Chitose Tachibana: [(serious expression) It’s true, I didn’t lie to Brother Shu, Brother Shu is very good-looking. He gives me a very kind and gentle feeling. At first glance, he is a gentle and handsome character. If I have to give an image, I don’t know if Brother Shu watches the anime, but he gives me the feeling of a teacher named Takisho in an anime. If Brother Shu is interested, you can search for it.]
If Chitose hadn't added this emoticon, Fujii Itsuki would have thought she was comforting herself.

But when this serious emoticon was added, it really felt like she was speaking seriously.

It's Mr. Takisho, right?

Fujii Itsuki switched the software, searched for these keywords on the browser, and quickly got the results.

So this is how I look in Qiansui's eyes?
Indeed, he has a gentle look, handsome appearance, and a friendly smile.

Just from this image, you can tell that he is very popular among students in school.

Fujii Itsuki: [Picture]
Fujii Itsuki: [Are they similar?]
Ju Qiansui Suisui: [Yes! I didn’t lie to Brother Shu, and I definitely didn’t say nice things to Brother Shu on purpose.]
[The more I listen, the more I feel like you are comforting me.]
[No, absolutely not!]
[Qi Sui, you don’t have to worry about people saying I’m ugly or something like that, because I don’t really care about that. I’m asking this because I just want to know what kind of image I have in everyone’s eyes.]
Chitose Tachibana: [Shu-ge is very handsome, there is no doubt about that! Also, when Shu-ge was a teacher in Tokyo, he looked a lot like another Fujii Itsuki. Hehe, as long as Shu-ge shaves his beard and trims his hair, he will be fine.]
Fujii Itsuki had heard Chitose say this many times.

When I was working in Tokyo, Chitose often asked me for photos.

When he gets off work or has lunch, he always takes off his frameless glasses to take a picture of the girl. Because he is often reading, the background is usually the desk at school or home.

His photos have a lot of bookish air, so Chitose often jokes that Brother Shu is Fujii Itsuki.

Of course, the Fujii Itsuki here refers to the Fujii Itsuki in a movie played by Takashi Kashiwabara, a very handsome character.

Fujii Itsuki always thought that Chitose was joking with him, but now it seems that maybe Chitose really thought so.

Fujii Itsuki: [Does Chitose really think so?]
Tachibana Chitose: [Of course! I am absolutely sure that Brother Shu is the most handsome man!]
Seeing Chitose's exaggerated answer, Fujii Itsuki couldn't help but smile.

most handsome man
These are truly words that only Chitose could say to herself.

At the same time, he was a bit self-deprecating.

I actually have to rely on my sister's affirmation to gain confidence. When did my life become so miserable?

Tachibana Chitose: [I really want to go out and play with Brother Shu~]
[When the tourist season is over, Chitose will definitely be free.]
Ju Chitose Suisui: [Hehe, I'll wait for Brother Shu to take me out! Brother Shu has recovered from his illness, so he should go find a job today.]
Fujii Itsuki: [Not for today.]
Tachibana Chitose: [Huh? Why?]
Fujii Itsuki: [Three days ago I went to the city to look around and found that there were no good jobs in Otaru, so I found a temporary job in Teine, Sapporo. After eating noodles, I have to prepare to leave there.]
Ju Chitose: [Brother Shu, can you please tell me what it is?]
Fujii Itsuki: [Chitose, give me a convincing reason.]
[I'm curious!]
The reply was followed by a cute cartoon emoticon.

Fujii Itsuki found that he was always infected by Chitose's inexplicable vitality when chatting with her, so he smiled and typed a reply:

[It’s okay to tell you, it’s a tutor, for a week.]
Tachibana Chitose: [Hey, it’s a tutor.]
The previous message was replied almost instantly, but this one took about half a minute longer.

Fujii Itsuki was eating noodles.

[Don't like my job?]
Yang Kui Chitose's reply popped up immediately: [Of course not, it's just that I think that since Brother Shu has become a tutor, it would be nice for him to become a teacher in our school, right? After all, that has been Brother Shu's dream for more than ten years.]
dream
Fujii Itsuki was stunned.

Later, Chitose was called by his adoptive father to help, and the pleasant chat ended there.

Fujii Itsuki turned off his phone and continued eating noodles.

However, Chitose's last words kept echoing in his mind.

After all, it is a dream that I have been pursuing for more than ten years.
A dream of more than ten years
He suddenly had a new understanding and new ideas about the confusion he felt when looking for a job that day.

Did I really return to Otaru just to open a cafe and spend the rest of my ordinary life?
(End of this chapter)