Chapter 175: Matsumae Shinharu's Night

The tea party lasted until very late.

Rinka Hiiragi saw everyone off to the street at a nearby bus stop, and everyone waved goodbye.

Matsumae Shinchun and Jiuhuayue got on the same bus.

As night fell, the already deserted streets were filled with the chirping of summer insects. There were many old apartments and houses on both sides of the street.

Matsumae Shinharu stood in the middle of the carriage.

She followed the occasional flash of street lights outside the window and looked at Jiuhuayue, who was two steps away from her.
The childhood sweetheart whom I had thought about day and night in the past was now by my side.

It was OK with Chitose and Rinka around, so she could still say a few words, but Matsumae Shinchun was alone with Jiuhuayue at this time, and she didn't know how to start a conversation.
Xiaoyue said she likes Teacher Fujii
Does that mean you've already confessed?
If that's the case, how can I become good friends with her again?

The person she and I like is the same person.

You and your best friend like the same person
Xiaoyue is extremely important to me. She is the first light in my life besides my mother.

It was Xiaoyue who made me no longer gloomy.
And now.
Want to give up?

Should I return to the Matsumae family, accept my fate, follow the family's arrangements and live a life of "restraint"?

Matsumae Shinchun didn't understand.

I really don't understand how I should choose.

How to choose
"Xinchun." Jiuhuayue suddenly appeared aside.

"Ah? Xiaoyue.?"

"You were startled, right?" Jiuhuayue laughed.

Matsumae Shinchun had never seen Jiuhuayue's smiling face again at such a close distance.

Xiaoyue is so pretty.
She nodded, a little shy.

"Well I didn't expect Xiaoyue to come and talk to me on her own initiative."

"I was standing there for a long time just now and was very curious. Xinchun, why didn't you take the initiative to come forward and talk to me? Didn't we have a good chat at Rinka's house just now?"

"That's it"

Matsumae Shinchun placed his right hand on his chest and stared at the seat on the bus, "I was just thinking about something."

"Talk about it? I guess you should talk about it, right? Isn't it true that you need to talk about your worries?"

"Of course," Matsumae Shinchun paused, then looked at Jiuhuayue and asked, "Xiaoyue, you like Mr. Fujii, right?"

"Yes." Jiuhuayue felt something strange.

"The relationship between Satsuki and Chitose"

The weirdness in Jiuhuayue's heart disappeared, and she smiled and said, "I was just about to ask Xinchun, what do you think of Qiansui. What do you think of the relationship between her and the uncle? What is it like?"

"Chitose?"

Matsumae Shinharu thought about her childhood sweetheart's question carefully and answered it first, "Chitose is very attached to Mr. Fujii. I should say she is very, very attached to him. Xiaoyue, you should know about Chitose and Mr. Fujii's past. Chitose is so attached to him. She must really regard him as a family member and a brother."

"Does Xinchun think Qiansui is very jealous?"

"Very heavy," Matsumae Shinchun answered with certainty, "but Chitose-chan is a very reasonable and friendly person. At first, Chitose seemed to be wary of me. She felt that I was too close to Mr. Fujii, but that disappeared after the school trip."

".Oh? Why?"

"It was probably because I played with Chitose on her birthday and gave her flowers. Chitose looked quite touched."

Jiuhuayue couldn't help but look at Matsumae Xinchun again.

"Then what does Xinchun think of the relationship between Chitose and the uncle?"

"normal."

"normal?"

"Yes, no one wants their brother who is so good to them to have another sister, right? If you put yourself in Chitose's shoes, you will understand this feeling. When your close brother has another sister, you feel like you have been neglected, ignored by the person you cherish."

Matsumae Shinharu's tone became a little low.

"I see, I understand."

Jiuhuayue nodded and closed her eyes.

"Xinchun is right. I understand the feeling of being ignored, so even if Chitose hates me, I can understand her. I was against her before, but I didn't hate her. Who likes to have their precious things taken away by others?"

"Sorry." Matsumae Shinchun suddenly apologized.

"No need to be like that. I didn't mean to hint at you, Xinchun. Although it sounds strange to say this, Xinchun, didn't I ignore you before? Weren't you also very sad? I think that what happened between us has been in the past for so long. I have now completely seen my father's true face. Xinchun has promised me, so let's just pretend that what happened before never happened!"

The bus arrived at the stop and both of them got off at the same time.

Jiuhuayue became very talkative, and Matsumae Xinchun could feel that she was deliberately looking for topics to chat with her.

To ease the relationship between the two that had not been eased for more than ten years.

Xiaoyue is so proactive.

Matsumae Shinchun was really happy. She joined in the conversation with her and they became extremely happy.

Soon, they arrived at her doorstep.

"That's all for today. Bye~ Xinchun."

"Well, bye, Xiaoyue."

"Besides," Jiuhuayue smiled, "We must do our best in this county competition! I know that it's not just me and Chitose, but Xinchun you also want to make up for uncle's regret, right!"

"Of course!"

Matsumae Shinchun agreed, "This is a common regret of my mother and Mr. Fujii. To me, both my mother and Mr. Fujii are very important people in my life!
"I agree with what Chitose said. Let's work hard together for the gold medal in the national competition!"

After listening to this, Jiuhuayue did not give any additional response, but just smiled. She waved to Matsumae Xinchun, said "goodbye" happily, and turned back to her home.

Matsumae Shinharu held Baihua in his arms and stood outside, watching his childhood sweetheart go home.

At the moment Jiuhuayue was about to close the door, a hand suddenly stretched out from the crack of the door, waved to the girl outside, and said goodbye.

Matsumae Shinchun smiled knowingly.

When there was completely no movement, she turned around and went back to her home.

No matter what, today should be a happy day.

Several good friends got together and held a tea party, making cakes, playing games and chatting.
The childhood sweetheart who had been basically impossible to reconcile with me in the past now spoke frankly to me and took the initiative to clear up their grudges with me.

Matsumae Shinharu admitted.

I was really happy at that time.

I was very happy until I sent Xiaoyue home.
But as soon as I got home.

Looking at the empty, dark and cold entrance where even the moonlight can't shine in.

Matsumae Shinchun's mood cooled again.

Such an empty home made her feel lonely.

Matsumae Shinchun's original plan to practice the violin was ruined.

I gave up after practicing for just a few tries because I couldn't stand the lifeless living room.

It suddenly started raining outside again.

The raindrops are falling heavily.

The sound of the air falling from the sky and hitting the house made Matsumae Shinchun feel even colder all over.

This emotion forced Matsumae Shinchun to go to the bedroom on the second floor and lie down.

She tried to sleep and failed.

So he took out a quilt from the closet and wrapped himself in the thickest and heaviest quilt.
Only in this way
She felt a little relieved only when she listened to the rain.

The girl curled up in the corner of the bed.

Matsumae Shinharu frowned.

She herself didn't know what was going on in her heart at the moment?
Why is it so uncomfortable?
She sat up on the bed, hugging the quilt.

She looked at the ceiling above her head and at the rainy night outside the window.

Listening to the noisy chirping of cicadas in the courtyard and the sound of rain outside, Matsumae Xinchun unconsciously hugged her legs and curled up into a ball again.

My heart is so sad.
So uncomfortable, so uncomfortable
Why did I do nothing, yet it seemed like I could do nothing?
My breathing became rapid and sweat began to form on my forehead.
Is the anxiety attack coming back again?

Why does anxiety attack occur at this time?
Hasn't your anxiety disorder been cured?

Matsumae Shinchun supported her aching and dizzy head, walked to the desk and opened the drawer.

药.
It looks like there's only half a dose left.

Haven't had this in so long.

But it should be enough, right?

She took the pill, sat on the bed, and closed her eyes facing the moonlight outside the window.
She continued to breathe using the breathing method that Chitose taught her.

calm
I have to try to calm down.

I don’t know if it was the medicine or Qiansui’s breathing method that worked.

In short, the situation is much better than before.

"Woo——"

A snow fox with a huge tail pushed open the door of the girl's bedroom, walked in under the moonlight, jumped onto the bed, and crawled into her arms.

"Lord Bai Hua?"

Matsumae Shinchun was feeling really miserable at the moment, but with a fox as her companion, she didn't feel so uncomfortable and lonely.

She began to stroke the snow fox's fur, looking for answers from this guardian deity that had been passed down from generation to generation in the Matsumae family.

"Master Bai Hua, I have never been sick before, why is it like this today?"

"Woo." The little snow fox closed its cunning eyes.

"Master Bai Hua, do you think Xinchun knows it herself?"

"Ugh."

Matsumae Xinchun lowered her head, her voice getting lower and lower, "But Xinchun still doesn't understand. I had such a good day today. Xiaoyue came back and was willing to reconcile with me. She not only forgave my mistakes, but also took the initiative to talk to me and communicate. I should be very happy, but why——"

"Woo, woo~" "Lose? What does it mean to be afraid of losing? You said that Xinchun was afraid of losing because the relationship was getting closer again, so she got sick again?"

Ding Dong
At this moment, the doorbell suddenly rang.

It’s almost nine o’clock, who will come?
Matsumae Shinharu still remembers Sakura-no-ha's advice to her, not to open the door to strangers in the middle of the night.

So she carried Bai Hua to the entrance and asked cautiously:
".who is that?"

"I."

"Teacher Fujii?"

Upon hearing the voice, Matsumae Shinchun hurried downstairs to open the door. She opened the door and saw that it was indeed Fujii Itsuki outside. All the previous gloom seemed to be swept away.

"Teacher, you..."

But the teacher looked like he had been caught in the rain, his hair and clothes were a little wet.

"I just came back from visiting the dean in Sapporo, and it rained unexpectedly. The weather these days is so weird. Sometimes it's raining and it's so cold, and sometimes it's so sunny that it makes people feel uneasy."

"Teacher, why don't you come in first? Your clothes are all wet!"

Fujii Itsuki smiled at the girl in front of him and said, "Xinchun, your side is closer to the station. I'll borrow your umbrella and leave."

But as he was talking, Fujii Itsuki frowned:

"Xinchun, what's wrong with you?"

"what?"

"Xingchun, didn't you notice? You caught a cold after being caught in the rain and sweating all over? I remember you went to Rinka's house to attend a girls' tea party today? Did you get caught in the rain on your way back?"

"Not really, teachers don't have to worry too much."

Fujii Itsuki would not believe the girl's explanation at this time. He immediately touched the girl's round forehead, frowned and moved closer to feel her breath.

Not to mention the high body temperature.

Breathing and heart rate are abnormally fast.

"Anxiety disorder coming back again?"

"Teacher Fujii, you."

"I've been taking care of you for so long, but I still can't tell what's wrong with you? Why don't you take medicine if you're sick again?"

Matsumae Shinchun felt that her lies had been discovered, and she felt a little guilty. She hid her face and explained softly that she had not taken medicine for a long time, and did not prepare more, so she only had half of the standard dose.
"Then just sit at home and don't move. I'll run to the drugstore to buy it for you."

Fujii Itsuki put down the canvas bag in his hand, turned around and was about to go out, but the girl grabbed his hand from behind.

He turned around and saw the girl's figure illuminated by the light in the room.

"Teacher, take the umbrella."

"Row."

Fujii Itsuki nodded.

Afterwards, Matsumae Shinchun watched Fujii Itsuki walk away in the rain holding an umbrella at the door of her home, and gradually disappeared under the street lights in the dark night.
Bai Huadun stood beside the girl.

Matsumae Shinchun looked at the place where Fujii Itsuki disappeared, as if talking to herself, or asking the little snow fox beside her:

"Why is it that when Mr. Fujii comes, Xinchun feels particularly relieved, but when he leaves, she feels very lonely?"

"Ugh."

"Because Xinchun was born lonely?"

"Ugh."

Matsumae Shinharu turned around again.

She looked at her neatly kept little house.

There was no light in the living room, and she never turned on the TV when she was home alone.

What is the purpose of a person being born into this world?
As the eldest daughter of the Matsumae family, she learned to obey orders since birth.

Music, chess, calligraphy, painting, etiquette, martial arts, sacrifice
Even when you smile, you should always keep your teeth hidden.

My mother left for Kyoto, my father was busy with household affairs, my childhood sweetheart separated from me, and then my mother and friends passed away.
My life always seems to be gray.
Every time a rainbow-like light appears beside me, it disappears in an instant.
Matsumae Shinharu's sorrow lasted until Fujii Itsuki came back from buying medicine.
She noticed that the teacher even bought himself a small piece of cake.
When I came back, I stood at the entrance, put away my wet umbrella, carried a canvas bag, and smiled at myself.
At this moment, a strong longing emerged in Matsumae Shinharu's heart.

It was as if the light in the living room behind him became extremely warm because of his smile when he came back.
Is this what is called home?
Worried about the other person, I went out in the rain to buy medicine, and watched him put away his umbrella at the entrance and smile at me when he came back from buying medicine.
Matsumae Shinharu recalls it a thousand times.

I couldn't find a similar scene in my memory.

Whether it's the mother or the father.
What I see most is always their distant and unreachable backs.
"Xinchun, did you prepare a change of clothes for me at home?"

"Well, because I prepared a few extra sets of clothes for the teacher when I went to the dance, I left some of the dresses, shirts, etc. at home, thinking of giving them to the teacher someday."

"Thank you for your trouble."

"nothing."

There was silence for a while.

"teacher"

"What's wrong."

"Feed me."

"Huh? Why do you suddenly have this request?"

".May I?"

"Medicine or cake?"

".Is everything OK?"

"alright."

After eating the medicine and the cake, Matsumae Shinchun cautiously approached Fujii Itsuki, and after getting his tacit consent, she snuggled into his chest.

Teacher he.
It’s as if I can sense the loneliness in my heart.

Hug yourself and warm yourself with your body temperature
On a rainy night, the small living room, the small embrace, seem to be everything to me, everything in my life.

Matsumae Shinchun felt that she seemed to understand what Lord Baihua meant by the fear of losing.

I just want a complete home that I never had.

I was afraid that Xiaoyue would take the teacher away from me.
"Xinchun seems to be very clingy today, what happened?"

"nothing."

The girl answered in a low voice with her eyes closed. They sat face to face in the living room and looked at each other. The girl was extremely shy.

But because of the love I had for him in my heart, I couldn't help but give him a quick peck on the cheek with my soft lips.

"Getting naughty."

"I'm sorry, Xinchun can't contain the love I feel for you."

The girl became more shy.

While speaking, she also took the initiative to guide his hand under the hem of her shirt.
"Did you eat a lot of desserts again today?"

'Not too much'

"Your belly is already so plump, and it's not too much?"

"Old teacher"

"What's wrong?"

"itch"

The girl said softly, "It's not that Xinchun has a lot of belly fat, it's just that Xinchun's belly is soft and there's a bit of fat in it."

"It feels good. What else do you like?"

".Shenque Point."

"Why don't you go get the exercise book and I'll show you some questions."

"it is good"

Fujii Itsuki sat in his old seat, and Matsumae Shinchun, with a blushing face, brought out a pile of homework and sat down in front of him.

"Come sit on my lap."

"Um"

The girl agreed.

As soon as Matsumae Shinchun sat down, she consciously lifted the hem of her shirt slightly. Soon, a pair of hands reached inside and on her lower abdomen.

Next, Fujii Itsuki saw Matsumae Shinharu start to write the questions very seriously.

He didn't bother her too much.

Not long after writing, Matsumae Shinchun suddenly stood up.

She bent down naturally with a very dignified manner, and said in a very ladylike manner that she needed to go to the bathroom.

"Well, let's go."

Fujii Itsuki didn't care and began to carefully examine the question that Xinchun had just written.

They are basically correct, which proves that she is really working hard.

This child is indeed very serious no matter what he does.

This may be related to the habits she developed since childhood.

Fujii Itsuki habitually placed his hand on his thigh.

The index finger and middle finger suddenly touched a small water stain that looked like a peach heart.

His gaze moved downward.

this--

Maybe he came here in the rain just now and forgot to change his pants.

Yes, it is like that.

(End of this chapter)