Chapter 152 Muzi's Past

The director's blood pressure has worsened recently, which is a bad sign.

She is used to being frugal. She is willing to give everything to the people around her and the children in the welfare home, but she is strict with herself.

If Muzi hadn’t discovered it in time.

Fujii Itsuki estimated that the dean would continue to hide her high blood pressure until she was hospitalized.

Ugh.
It’s not that I can’t understand why the dean did this.

The dean just didn't want to make himself worry.

But doesn’t the dean know this?

If one day her condition becomes so serious that she is suddenly hospitalized, I would really be at a loss as to what to do.

In this regard, Fujii Itsuki felt that he should thank Muzi.

Ah. I also want to express my gratitude to Muzi for his care at work these days.

It’s Sunday, the dog days of late June.

The sun is terribly hot.

As soon as Fujii Itsuki pushed open the door, a heat wave that distorted the air rushed towards him.

No wonder it feels so hot even with the air conditioner on. The temperature outside must be around 40 degrees, right?
It really is getting hotter every year.

Fujii Itsuki shook his head, went back to get a pure black umbrella, and went to the bus stop to wait for the bus.

Passersby who were also waiting for the bus looked at the umbrella in his hand with strange eyes.

The look in his eyes clearly asked, "Why is this person holding an umbrella on a sunny day?"

Fujii Itsuki couldn't understand this.

Why not?
Didn’t you know that umbrellas can provide shade?
After getting on the bus, Fujii Itsuki felt like he was surrounded by the people around him.

The air conditioner in the bus seemed to be broken. The heat in the steel box was so intense that it made people feel uneasy. An old man carrying water was sweating profusely and had to wipe his sweat with a handkerchief almost every two seconds.

Time and again, the handkerchief was soaked with sweat until water could be wrung out of it. Seeing that the handkerchief was no longer effective, the old man took some wet toilet paper and continued to wipe his forehead, taking a breath after each wipe.

Seeing that the old man looked like he was about to die from the heat, Fujii Itsuki also felt uncomfortable.
He looked out the window at the twisting asphalt road beside him, and became more and more interested in buying a car.

Go to the supermarket and buy fruits for delivery.

Fujii Itsuki still remembers that Muzi liked to eat dragon fruit.

Oh, and I like pickles.
Her favorite dish is to put pickles on bread slices, add bacon, lettuce and fried eggs to make a sandwich.

The bread had to be fried with butter before she could eat it.

what?
Why do I know it so clearly?
This is not nonsense?
I ate the sandwiches she made for two years in high school.

Every day she would make a pair and take them to school.

Based on these habits in his memory, Fujii Itsuki selected ingredients one by one in the supermarket.

I picked up the pickle bottle which was exactly the same as before.

Fujii Itsuki was somewhat moved by the scene.

This was seven or eight years ago.

It seems that the supermarket is this one.

After school, she took me to the supermarket to buy ingredients for breakfast.

I followed Muzi, listening to her humming a little tune while she introduced the recipe of pickle sandwiches to me in front of the supermarket counter and the lunch box she would make for me tomorrow.

Whenever she asked him "what do you want to eat" and he answered "anything is fine", Muzi would frown and say to himself seriously:
[No, it’s not random! If I made a random lunch and you don’t like it, isn’t that my fault?]
How did you respond at that time?
"."

Put the ingredients into the supermarket cart one by one.

Fujii Itsuki recalled carefully.

It seems so.
By the way, I replied: "It's okay, I like all breakfasts made by Muzi."

Muzi immediately smiled, holding the pickle bottle in her hand, and said with a beautiful smile: [Why didn’t I think Ah Shu’s words were so sweet before! ]
"What's wrong with that?" I replied.

At that time, I really didn't understand what was wrong with this statement.

I wanted to hear Muzi's explanation but Muzi didn't explain at all. He just kept laughing and looking at me and laughing.
She didn't explain anything, she just smiled to herself.
Now Fujii Itsuki recalled that Muzi must have been happy because he liked her kindness and liked the breakfast she made.
What a little girl.

The corners of Fujii Itsuki's mouth curled up unconsciously.

But it soon faded away.

I understand Muzi's intention.
She just likes herself.

The substitute teacher listened to me complain about work pressure. He saw that I was really tired and helped me deal with some class affairs.
When I don't have much time, I visit the dean.
She did this not to coerce herself, but because she was willing to do these troublesome things out of guilt and love for herself.
"Ugh"

Of course, Fujii Itsuki was very grateful to her.

But I really couldn't agree to Muzi's wish.

Besides, it’s hard to say whether I have any past romantic feelings for Muzi.
The current situation is - the better Muzi treats me, the heavier my feelings for her become.

Walking to the pickle section, Fujii Itsuki found pickles.

He recognized the brand that Muzi had always liked to eat at almost immediately - Yamawu.

I never thought that this small local brand from Otaru is still alive.

Fujii Itsuki reached out and took a bottle from the shelf. Staring at the reflection of the bottle, he seemed to recall the past.
It seems to be summer.

Before establishing a relationship.

She and I made an appointment to go hiking and camping together. After walking for a day, we were so tired at night that we fell asleep on the picnic blanket after setting up the tent.

Not long after Fujii Itsuki closed his eyes, he felt a strange taste in his mouth, as well as a thick, stick-like object.

When I opened my eyes, Mu Zi's smiling face appeared before my eyes.

Fujii Itsuki quickly stood up and asked her what she had fed him, and Muzi smiled and shook the bottle of pickles from "Yamaya" in her hand.

As for why I always remember this scene.

That’s because it was my first time eating pickles and the taste was very unique.

Second, Muzi's smiling face is reflected by the starry sky on the mountain top behind him, which is really beautiful.
That was also the first time I made an appointment with the opposite sex of the same age to go hiking and camping together.

Fujii Itsuki always felt that he fell in love with Muzi because of that day's mountain climbing.

Ugh.
Sometimes I really don’t know whether I should sigh or not.

Sighing doesn't seem positive enough.

But I do feel regret and nostalgia for my past relationship with Muzi.

It is impossible for me and Muzi to be together now.

I should talk to Muzi about this matter and ask her to stop compromising herself and to reject her seriously.

Ok.

Fujii Itsuki put the bottle of pickles into the cart.

Just do it.

"Da da."

"Da da."

Just as Fujii Itsuki was thinking this, the crisp sound of high heels came from the corner of the shelf.

This step
Fujii Itsuki looked up almost the moment the other person approached.

"Ah! What a coincidence." Akagi Muzi, carrying a basket of vegetables, had already spotted him in advance, "Are you here to buy vegetables?"

"Oh, yes."

When Fujii Itsuki saw Akai Muko's smile, he wanted to completely reject her idea, but for some reason, all of this thought disappeared in an instant.

why?
Is it because seeing Muzi’s smile reminded me of the feelings I had with her in the past?
Because of past relationships, you don't want to hurt her now?
Akai Muzi noticed the large amount of things in his cart, "Is it because your friend is back? You were thinking of treating her well."

"Not really. Jiuhua Xiaoyue will probably take some time to come back."

"Will that mean I won't be able to attend Matsumae-san's birthday party?"

"Basically."

"Also, Fujii, you started calling her Xiaoyue in private. Is your relationship progressing?"

".No need to joke about this, it's just that she felt it was too strange for me to call her Jiuhua, so she started to let me call her by her name."

“Then why do you buy so many things?”

Akagi Muzi glanced at Fujii Itsuki's cart.

Dragon fruit, whole wheat bread, bacon, butter, and a bottle of pickles.
She was stunned for several seconds before looking back at Fujii:

"This is.?"

"I was planning to bring these things to visit you," Fujii Itsuki could only smile, "I didn't expect to meet you here."

"Visit me? Why do you have to make it so formal? Can't you just give me a call and I'll come out?"

"No, no, no, this time is different. This time I mainly want to thank Akagi-ni, and I also want to visit Aunt Shiori."

"Ashu, do we still need these thanks between us?"

"Don't you need it?"

Akai Muzi hesitated for a second and replied:

"of course."

Fujii Itsuki stared at the large and small things in the cart, feeling a little bitter.

He originally wanted to thank Muzi, and then told her about his situation and completely rejected her feelings.

But now.
Neither seems suitable.

The rhetorical question just now was actually an attempt to distance himself and to test Muzi.
The second that Muzi paused proved that she absolutely understood what she meant.

But she still chose to take the initiative to build a relationship with me.
this.
This is true.

Fujii Itsuki is really ashamed.

Akai Muzi seemed to see Fujii Itsuki's embarrassment, and she said generously:

"Don't worry about some details. I don't care. Besides, Shu, aren't you coming to visit me today with gifts? Let's go. I've bought all the food. How about we go together?"

"Muzi."

"It's okay, it's okay. I don't care. I know you want to reject me, but you have already rejected me. There is no need to emphasize it twice."

"Then why are you helping me so much?"

"Willingly. Didn't I say that before?"

"."

"Besides, I am an old acquaintance of the dean, so naturally I would go to see her occasionally. It is only natural that I would take care of her if I discovered that she had high blood pressure. I didn't tell you about this because the dean asked me not to worry you."

"."

Fujii Itsuki nodded.

"So let's go check out now? And then go to my house? My mom is home now."

"Row."

The two then checked out at the supermarket counter and walked out of the supermarket carrying large and small bags of goods.

The two took the bus and went all the way to Muzi's house.

Muzi's house is a two-story apartment.

The kind of place where civilians live that often appears in anime.

In reality, these are indeed small houses where civilians live.

Fujii Itsuki followed her to the second floor. He looked around and felt that this place was still the same as he remembered.

Akai Muzi took out the key and unlocked the door.

After changing into slippers, Fujii Itsuki looked inside through the entrance. The hut was the same as before.
"This place can't compare to Jiuhua's big villa, so I'm sorry to bother you for a while."

"Why are you feeling wronged? I used to come here often and I was quite happy." Fujii Itsuki handed over the plastic bag.

Akagi Muzi took the large and small things from his hand and looked inside again: "Come to think of it, Ah Shu, you still remember what I like to eat."

“The taste hasn’t changed, has it?”

"No, thank you for preparing so much."

Put away the plastic bag and place in the refrigerator.

At this time, Fujii Itsuki walked into the living room and wanted to say hello to Aunt Shiori, but he didn't see her in the small living room.

He couldn't help looking around.

Familiar, too familiar
Wheat-colored tatami, square black wood chandelier, a kotatsu coffee table in the middle of the living room, and the LCD TV on the left has been used for a long time and looks like it was from the millennium.
And on the right, there are tablets for grandma and grandpa.
Fujii Itsuki subconsciously came to the two men and saw that the small drawer was still there. He then imitated what he had done before, lighting two incense sticks for the two old men and bowing to them.

He looked up and suddenly saw many photos next to the incense table of the two old people.

Most of them are photos of Muzi and her mother
There is a photo placed in the most prominent position.

Did you read that right?

This is a photo of Muzi and himself back then.

Clarinet and saxophone ensemble on the Otaru Canal.
"My grandparents were so nice to me before." Akai Muzi came to Fujii Itsuki with a cup of tea.

Fujii Itsuki quickly put down the photo and took the teacup.

"Thank you."

"My mother often praised the good things about my grandparents, but since they passed away and my mother got leukemia, our family has completely fallen apart. I remember I told you about this before."

"I remember."

Akai Muzi sat on the ground next to Fujii Itsuki, facing the two elderly people in the photo, "I have been working illegally since elementary school for my mother's illness. When I pass by a vending machine, I have to use a wooden stick to feel if there is change under it. I have to collect an empty bottle when I see it, so I also got to know a lot of homeless people.

"After my grandparents died, no relatives came to help. All I thought about every day was money, money, money for a long, long time."

Akai Muzi had a dull expression and took a sip of tea.

"That period was like a nightmare that I couldn't get rid of. Even though the situation got better and I went to high school, I still felt like I was stuck in the past.

"After school, I would subconsciously look under the vending machines. Even though my mother repeatedly told me not to pick up bottles, I would still pick them up.
"Every time I see some classmates going home, I think of my childhood self. 'What would it be like to live a life with all these glamorous clothes and a complete family life?' When I was young, I often hid behind the beech tree at the school gate and secretly watched my peers go home from school. I always thought so.

"."

There was silence for a while.

"Ashu, do you know how I viewed myself at that time?"

"You have an inferiority complex." Fujii Itsuki said, staring at the reflection in the teacup.

"Yes, I have a low self-esteem. My hands are dirty and rough, and they don't look like a girl's hands. My clothes are dirty and tattered, and they don't look like a girl's clothes.
“At school, I always sat in the corner of the classroom, next to the trash can.

"I am in the same school as everyone else, but I feel like I am in another world. I dare not talk to my classmates, and I dare not face their strange eyes. Every time I hear that a classmate's parents celebrated her birthday, I envy her so much."

Fujii Itsuki clenched the teacup in his hand.

The more Muzi said this.
The more he understood, the more he understood why Muzi wanted to go to the United States.

As far as we can remember, the United States has always been the most developed and prosperous place in the world.

There are skyscrapers, financial buildings, and Times Square. It is the pinnacle of the world and the times.

A little girl who picked up rags walked step by step to the pinnacle of the world's music and art academy and became the clarinetist of the world's top orchestra.

Muzi went to the United States not only to pursue her dreams and to fight for her missed childhood.

She also wanted to pick up the courage she never had in her heart.
Likewise, she also wanted her to——

Akai Muzi smiled at the photos of her grandparents:

"Ashu, can I tell you a secret that I have never told you?"

"Go ahead."

"Don't we play music by the Otaru Canal every day after school?"

"Ah."

"As for me, I actually always feel that what I play is not worthy of your saxophone. You play much better than me, and there are many others who are much better than me. And you have always been accommodating and considering me."

These words lingered in my ears.

Fujii Itsuki closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"So, it's only a matter of time before we break up. It's reasonable for you to reject me now. I'm willing to do those things for you, such as substitute teaching, and I'm willing to do it. First, thank you for accepting me in the past and leading me to experience something that I can't imagine.

"Second, I'm really sorry for leaving you. I'm so sorry, so sorry, so sorry."

Akai Muzi lowered her head as she spoke, and her voice became smaller and smaller as her apology became more serious.

"I confessed to you, I never had any hope of success. I was just attracted to you, infected by your personality that always moves forward, and I admired you. I confessed to you, I never had any hope of success. After all, I was just a person who couldn't even be called a girl since childhood.
“But, Shu, you promised me.

“You agreed to my confession.

“And gave me everything.”

(End of this chapter)